In the Spirit of that Marty McFly Guy

Have you ever awoken groggily from your bed, wearily stood up, and the first word you utter of the brand new day is equal to or synonymous with, "fuck"?

I feel that there's a lot of people out there these days that have such thoughts. And at times lately, I would join the cacophony of disillusioned people. The world isn't a terribly friendly place when the chips are down, and the current state of affairs do tend to skewer in that direction. We do have the basic constants for starters: war, terrorism, racism, prejudice, the occasional lone wolf with a shotgun - it can be daunting. Mother Nature is always stirring up trouble of some kind. And lest we not not forget that we also have the global economic system that recently tried to commit seppuku and an around-the-clock media network determined to tell you how scary and bleak the state of the planet is because of it all, well shit, it's no surprise some people would prefer not to get up in the morning.

But it's better than the alternative isn't it?

That's typically how I try to see things.

I mean, trust me, I'm quite adept at playing the glass is near-empty card if I get into a bad mindset. The last year of my life has been nothing if not tumultuous. It's now been just over a year since I lost my mother, and I still quite haven't found the composure or desire to write more about that. It still affects me, and likely will for quite some time. A year ago I was without a job, then I got the one I have currently, and then just recently that same job now has decided to screw me over; the search begins anew. I had to contend with finding a place, the ordeal of actually getting it, and then all the headaches and empty wallet moments that has come with it. I found someone I'm positively crazy about, and yet I've had to endure months of her being on another continent. I constantly feel like there's something I'm missing out on just out of arm's reach. Stress and anxiety have become an issue in my life for the first significant period of time. I still have that notion that I'm missing out on something I should be doing. And so forth.

It doesn't take much effort to bog yourself down with the negatives if they exist - especially if they exist. But that's the rub.

There are two things you really don't want to do in these situations. First, and it sounds silly enough to come out of some new-age self-help book is: to try not to dwell on them. It's easier said than done, again, I know. It can be self-destructive though. How many nights of lost sleep or moments of relative enjoyment have been lost to letting something sit on the forefront of your mind like an invisible vise? Much like Yoda says about the dark side of The Force: thinking about the negatives of your current situation in life is quicker, easier, and more seductive. And frankly, that's why we all do it. We want to take that easier path at times to illicit an escape. Or sympathy. Or provocation. Or maybe just as a means of directing the blame at anything or anyone simply as a way of coping with the woes you've been inflicted with. But also like the dark side, it doesn't make you stronger.

The above paragraph of my personal situation didn't take much effort to compose together. It's a simple "what's unfortunate about my life" thing. It's melodramatic and sullen with a hint of dramatics. Now let me easily spin the same events into what's more realistic:

Yes, my mother passed away, and that is a traumatic and horrible event in any person's life. If something good came out of it, however, it's that it brought my extended and immediate families together in a way I'm not sure would have been possible otherwise, which, ironically, is precisely what my mother was good at, though she was never one for huge gatherings.
Yes, it's cliche as all hell to complain about one's current job predicament, but there should be emphasis on the word "current". With millions of people out of work, it's hard to forget the simple fact of the matter that I still have a job, which is also ironic since it's the very boss I used to complain about all the time who saved my ass from the street to begin with.
Yes, it is overwhelming to buy your own place. But it's mine; it's a product of my hard work and effort and saving over a number of years, culminating in something noteworthy I can call my own. I should feel proud of that. And I do.
Yes, it sucks that Erin is abroad, but the simple fact of the matter is that she is still very much connected to me even if she can't be in the area, something I am grateful for every day. And I know it's only temporary circumstances.
The stress and anxiety? The feeling of always missing out on something? They are more or less something I have to chalk up to my personality. I don't like rapid sudden change to my personal life that I didn't have a hand in. I tend to freak out. And I spent most of my life as an outcast, either by circumstance in the early years or by choice in some of the later ones. The trick is to use these traits to my advantage. For example, I can take the anxiety of having to come into Boston every day as motivation for finding that new job I want. Again , the current situation is temporary. I don't have to like it, but I have to accept it. It works out to some degree too since I'm a horrible procrastinator.

The point of all this is that the statements are what they are. Both depictions of my current lot in life are true. Yet, it's the simple way of looking at it that can discern whether the world is dark and scary, or just a difficult place with challenges to meet.

Which brings me to the other thing you just don't want to do when you feel life wanting to crush your ambitions into dust: do not ignore them. Simple as that. The world isn't all gumdrops and cotton candy, and no matter how much you isolate your mind or your outlook from the rest of the world, it still exists. Bad stuff will happen to good people. You know good people? Bad stuff will happen to the good people you know. Logic dictates that. So, no, I'm not trying to gloss over the ailments of the world around me. I am not blinded to plights, or suffering, or that some really, really unfortunate stuff happens to humans and/or the natural world without recourse or reason. I just try to stay centered on what I affect though.

Moreover, ignoring the predicaments that bring you cause for dread will inevitably lead to one of two failures. Either you put blinders up to what's really going on around you, or you forfeit any ability to take charge in your own life.
The first one garners you nothing. Nothing good has ever happened by ignoring a problem and hoping it will go away. Ultimately, it will be that much worse off when the walls inevitably do come crumbling down around you - and they will. Walls didn't keep the Mongols out. They didn't keep the Nazis out. So why would they keep your daily concerns at bay? That rash, that coworker, that ex? They still exist, whether you want them to or not.
You may temporarily be relieved from the mental strain of whatever current problem is afflicting you, but unless you do something to rectify it, or at the very least accept that you are unable to fix it at that moment in time, those thoughts will come back. And I would argue that they'll probably all come at once too when you least want them to, in those moments of weakness we all have. Because hey, we're all human.
The second one is equally as detrimental. There are some people who are so convinced in fate, so willing to throw aside the steering of their own ship to the wind, that they will leave everything to it. To these people the notion that the universe is one big chaotic mess is too much to bear, and therefore some unseen force must have a hand in it. I can understand that. (Which I suppose is why I tend to like chaos theory: order through disorder.) And while the idea of faith isn't the topic of this piece, I will at least argue that it isn't a bad thing if used correctly. Faith can help people through tough times, whatever it is you believe in - and doesn't necessarily have to be a god or higher power. Regardless - and this is key: always, always reserve a measure of faith in yourself. Be positive in your capacity to make changes in your own life. We can't control everything, true. But you'd damned well be surprised when push comes to shove how much you can.

It's that simple really. Problems will come and go, and more will come to take their place. It sucks, and it isn't fair. There's no hiding that. So don't try to. Even if you can turn the other way on a grand global scale, it becomes that much more real when it's happening directly to you. Whenever you feel at the bottom rung of your own existence, remember that there's always going to be someone worse off than you. That's not meant to make you feel better or guilty, or shameful; merely to put things in perspective. If you ever feel so overwhelmed, deciding that your life is so awful for innumerable reasons, take a second to think if you'd be willing to trade your own circumstances with someone starving in a third-world country; or someone suffering from a degenerative, incurable neurological disease; or someone that just lost everything and everyone they knew to a catastrophic event; or perhaps you being one of those people someone else just lost. Really think about it.

Don't let your issues control you. Put aside what you aren't able fix at the moment. Then focus on what you can for the better, one little thing at a time. If everyone does that, the rest would work itself out. Now go do something about it.

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." - Theodore Roosevelt